Someday Soon
by iceland2010
Summary: Shenny. Shane is having a hard time handling all the pressures that are coming from her new relationship. I suck at summaries. Sorry.
1. Chasing Ambitions

This is my first L Word fanfic. Be kinda gentle with me and let me know if I should continue it or not. Thanks.

I haven't quite figured out where this is gonna go, but it's kind of an AU I guess. I'm taking a totally different approach on a lot of aspects.

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I felt like an idiot as I chased her down the front steps of the house we shared.

"This wasn't supposed to happen! I swear I'm your friend." I screamed at her retreating back.

She swung back around screaming and pointing as she stepped towards me, "You're my friend? No you're a lying deceitful motherfucker." She drove every point home as she jabbed her finger into my chest. "How long has this been going on?" She hissed at me through clenched teeth.

I grabbed hr hand and brought it away from my chest before she broke skin with her sharp nails. I tried to grab her face to look at me but she jerked away.

"This is the first time, I swear." I swallowed my tears and looked her in the eye. She turned her and looked past me at Nikki.

"Is this true?" She motioned between us.

"Yeah it is Jenny." Nikki nodded her head at me and I agreed. We had decided it would probably be best if we didn't mention the other couple of times.

I turned back to Jenny and she was glaring at me with those ice blue eyes. It sent a chill down my spine that quickly cooled the heat of the slap she placed across my face.

"You fucking liar!" She screamed, inches from my face.

My head was still bent to the side from the force of the blow. My hair had fallen over my face and it covered the single tear that trekked its way down my cheek. I had no words to express my guilt or shame. I dropped to my knees and stared at the concrete. She just huffed and made her way to her car. I didn't move or speak after she drove away. Nikki had come to my side to console me but I shoved her away. She stood there, not knowing what to do and eventually just went back inside.

I watched her walk away and cursed myself for falling victim to yet another pretty girl. This was my nature though, and I couldn't deny it, no matter how hard I tried. These actions were just not bad decisions I made. This was branded into my character from day one. A family trait I couldn't avoid. So this is what I did. I picked up girls, brought them home, and fucked them. I didn't really care about them, ever. I just couldn't help it. This time I had gone too far though. I had let Nikki get under my skin and seduce me, again. In my defense though, the first couple of times this happened Nikki and Jenny weren't dating. Hell they didn't even really know each other, but at my urging after things had fizzled out I had brought them together at Jenny's request. I loved Jenny dearly, she was one of my closest friends and she had trusted me at home with her girlfriend, and I took advantage of it.

So I picked myself up off the sidewalk and straightened out my clothes. I climbed the stair slowly and went into the house looking beaten. My cheek still burned where Jenny had slapped me and I was pretty sure something was bleeding, but I was too numb to tell. I lumbered into the kitchen and got me a wet cloth to put over my face. As came back into the living room I saw Nikki, now fully dressed, sitting on the couch. I lay down with my head in her lap and put the hand towel over my face. Neither of us knew really what to say so we just laid there. My head in her lap and the cloth over my face so all I could see a dim haze of light shining through, as she ran her hands through my hair. After a few minutes of this she removed the towel and gasped.

"Oh God! She must've caught her ring or something across your cheek." Nikki said surprised.

"What do you mean?"

"She cut your cheek when she slapped you. It's not very big but it is bleeding." She pressed fingers around the tender area and I yelped with pain, "Come on get up. Let's go clean this up."

I leaned up to let her get up and I followed her down the hall and into the bathroom. When I flicked on the light the tiny bathroom flooded with harsh light from the four energy saving bulbs above the mirror. I squinted my eyes to adjust and saw the size of the cut Jenny had left me with. I just shook my head. It wasn't necessarily deep but it was long so it bled a little more than expected. It stretched from just under my eye to the corner of my nose. I sat up on the countertop as Nikki began to take out the small first aid kit in the medicine cabinet. I watched her muscles move beneath the taught skin of her arm and took in her long, flowing dirty blone hair as it cascaded down her back in a bit of a tangled mess from our earlier activities. Her movements were fluid and purposeful as she took on the task of cleaning me up. She could feel me watching her and turned her head in my direction, cocking it slightly to the left as she did.

"I just don't get you Shane."

"What's not to get?" I flinched as she pressed the alcohol soaked cotton ball to my cheek. The smell was quickly filling up my small bathroom and I curled my nose at it. It reminded me of hospitals and all the reasons I had ever been.

"You're just not like most girls." She smiled and grabbed the back of my neck to hold me still.

"What is that even supposed to mean?" I asked warily while trying to free myself from the iron grip she had on me. "Just because I don't trap myself in relationships and I've never learned the meaning of monogamy?"

"No that's not what I mean, and don't get so pissy. I was only making an observation." She pressed the cotton ball to my cheek harder on purpose. I grit my teeth and closed my eyes against the pain.

"Okay then. Why is it that I'm so different?" I hissed through my teeth. I heard her set down the bottle of rubbing alcohol and the cotton balls on the counter. She stepped between my slightly parted legs and was inches from my face. I inhaled her scent of sandalwood and ocean salt. I opened my eyes and looked dead into her bright amber colored eyes as they danced with passion in the harsh light. The heat from the palm of her hand as it rested on my thigh felt like it was going to burn straight through my pants leg. I closed the gap with a lunge at her slightly parted lips. She returned my ferocity and the heat between us could have melted the sun. I hopped off the counter and switched our positions. I had her sitting on the counter with pants unzipped and shirt off when the doorbell echoed deafeningly loud throughout the house.

"Fuck!" I whispered harshly under my breath. I looked up at Nikki who was just smiling down at me. She ran her hand through my hair and we untangled ourselves from each other. I retrieved her shirt from the top of the shower curtain and tossed it at her as I made my to the door, "Who is it?" I called through the door.

"It's me! Let me in!" I recognized Alice's voice immediately. I opened the door and didn't even have time to step away before she shoved her way through, simultaneously smacking m in the face with it.

"Ah shit! Alice what the hell? I clutched my bleeding nose and backed out of her way.

"Don't what the hell me bitch! The fuck did you do to Jenny?" She screamed.

I just stared at her blankly and headed back to the bathroom. I heard her heels clicking behind me but I just ignored it. Nikki was standing in the doorway waiting for me. She looked like she was going to piss all over herself when she saw me pinching my bleeding nose and leading a very angry Alice behind me. I returned to my original position on the counter and Nikki resumed in the process of cleaning me up. Alice glared at me the whole time her brown eyes piercing my every pore. I glanced between Nikki and Alice knowing that a showdown was in the making as we stood there. I looked Nikki in the eye and a calm feeling overtook me. I saw her look at the mirror behind me straight at Alice and smirk at her. It wasn't a condescending smirk it was just an acknowledgement. A reminder that she was also involved in this and that she held cards nobody else did. Nikki finished what she had to with my cheek and nose and we made our way back into the living room. My nose was still bleeding so I laid my head back in Nikki's lap. Alice huffed and turned up her nose.

"Oh shut the hell up! Jesus, Alice you're overreacting." Nikki snapped, "You smack your friend in the face with her own door and then you get all huffy when she's looking for a little TLC." She continued to play with my hair as I just stared at the ceiling fan as it made it's rotations slowly, lazily and completely unaware of the scene unfolding below it.

"I'm overreacting?" Seriously, Nikki? I mean because this isn't anything to make a big deal about. You know whatever you're fucking your girlfriend's supposed 'best friend' just whatever it's cool." Alice crossed her arm and gave me a withering look across the coffee table. I simply turned my head and focused my attention back on the fan, "Besides it's not like it'll be awkward or anything. Cause she won't be right down the hall when you're fucking or see you on the way to the bathroom in the morning or anything like that. You know you're not completely…" "Shut the fuck up Alice!" I cut her off and sat up fully facing her now, "You have no right to talk to her like that. I have as much to do with this as she does."

Alice looked shocked that I had spoken to her like that but switched up fast and stood to her full height. I stood too and stared her straight in the eye. She took two steps toward me and I took one till until Nikki reached up and grabbed my arm.

"Please don't Shane. I'm not worth losing your friends over." Nikki's soft voice struck a chord and I backed down.

I sat back down on the couch and looked up at her, "She's right Al." I hung my head in my hands and shook it back and forth clutching my black mane by the roots, "This was never supposed to happen." I mumbled into my palms. Hoping they would amplify my sorrow and speed my apologies.

"You're so full of shit Shane!" Alice still hadn't sat back down.

"Look just shut the hell up and sit down, and we can talk about this like adults." I said quietly no longer having the strength or voice to fight the intensity that was Alice Pieszecki.

Alice saw she wasn't going to get anywhere so she sat herself back down and waited for my explanation. I didn't have one except that I was seriously stupid and that I was falling back into old habits. "So Shane, let's hear you're brilliant explanation for this one." She drawled slowly.

"Fine! I'll give you an explanation but I refuse to apologize to you," I emphasized the last word and leaned forward to grab my pack of cigarettes on the table. I lit one for Nikki and then another for me.

"Whatever just as long as Jenny gets the apology she deserves from both of you." She glanced at Nikki and turned to me, "So what happened?"

I took a draw of my cigarette to my calm my nerves, "I had just gotten back from the set and she was already here 'waiting' for Jenny, or so she said. We got to talking and things kind of went from there. It started just teasing but I mean you know me, I just couldn't…" I trailed off when Nikki nestled her head against my shoulder. I shrugged her off of me.

"Yeah Alice I mean it's not really that big of a deal." She looked at me then back to Alice.

"Not a big deal?" Alice questioned. "Really, are you that stupid?" She stared down her nose at Nikki and I glared across the room at her. She withdrew her look quickly and focused her attention back on me where it belonged.

"Al, please, I mean, damn we've hooked up before and Jenny and Nikki didn't even know each other then." I felt Nikki shrug her shoulders at this last statement and it gave me the will to power through this weak explanation of why I was a slut. "We just kind of decided to pick up where we left off." I explained.

"You just don't get it do you? You have broken Jenny's heart." She pointed directly at me. "You know how much that girl absolutely adores you. You're her savior. You're the sole reason she's even still alive and you're the reason she even came back to L.A. Damnit Shane I can't believe you've been this blind and stupid. That girl loves you more than anything in this world, and you've broken her heart. She could care less about you fucking Nikki. It's the fact that you've been so ignorant to her all these years."

I had nothing to say to this. I was completely taken aback and awestruck. It explained so much. Why she had never said a word when I came home with somebody. Why she would just take her car and leave with out a warning. I couldn't rap my head around this notion. I stared at Alice dumbly and stuttered through my next sentence, "Why, why did she never talk to me about this?"

"Because she knows how you are and she knows your rule." Alice said simply.

I paced the living room in a few quick strides. I was trying to get my thoughts together so I could stand before the jury and give my final statement before deliberation time. I took another long draw and stubbed it out in the ashtray. I bent down in front of Alice and balanced myself on the balls of my feet.

"Alice, please. Understand that this wasn't supposed to happen. Jenny was never supposed to know about this, but I'm still her friend." I stared up into her chocolate colored eyes willing her to hear my plight, and for her to catch the meaning behind my inarticulate sentence.

"That may be true but I'm not the one you should be pleading this case to."

She put her hands on either side of my face and stared back at me. I couldn't hold her gaze and I jerked my head sharply away. She grabbed my chin and in a firm, but gentle grip she turned me back to face her. There was nothing I could do, I was trapped, held by her intense brown eyes. I broke swiftly underneath the compassionate and loving gaze being sent down her up me like rain in a hurricane. I fell forward onto my knees with my head in her lap. I had forgotten that Nikki was there until she cleared her throat. I jumped up and faced her. Guilt written across my face I walked over to her and pulled her up to look me in the eye.

She turned her head away and spoke to the floor, "Shane please don't say it aloud. I don't have to hear it to make it real." She raised her head to the ceiling in harsh laugh and looked me in the eye. "I'll be around. If you ever need anything." She dropped my hands at my side, kissed me on the cheek, and walked out the door jingling her keys. Me and Alice watched her leave and waited till we heard her Explorer roar away from the curb and squeal tires, I knew in a testament to her anguish.

Nikki had been one of the few special ones that I had come across in my years. She had brought about in me a sense of comfort and safety. A welcoming feeling but it became smothering the first time but after a while I had changed my mind and decided to call her back. Never expecting for her to actually come running, but she had, and then once again something had stepped between us. Although I knew that this time the something that had stepped between us was something I couldn't let slip through my fingers. I felt deep down in my gut that it was going to take a lot more than a simple apology to get Jenny back and to make her see how much I cared for her.

"It would be best to wait until at least tomorrow morning to try and call her." Her voice broke my train of thought and I snapped my neck in her direction. I don't know what she saw in my face but Alice simply just walked over and wrapped her arms around me. I stiffened at first and eventually leaned into the embrace.

"Al I, I don't think I can face her. I don't think I can tell her that I'm still her friend and have her believe me, and how am I even supposed to know if this is going to work? How am I supposed to know if I can give her what she needs?" I sobbed into her shoulder.

Alice held me and said simply, "I don't have an answer for any of that. All I can tell you Shane is that you have to give her a chance, and believe in yourself."

I was silent except for the sobs racking my body. I hadn't cried like this since my little brother had been taken away by my father to Ohio. I don't remember exactly how long I stood there letting Alice stroke my back and calm me down. As soon as I was finished I pulled away and wiped my eyes, slowly sitting down on the coffee table I looked up at Alice and smiled.

"Thank you."

She just nodded back at me and picked up her keys. As soon as she opened the door she just looked back at me and smiled then walked calmly to the door and down the front porch.

I sat on the coffee table not really knowing what to do with myself. A million and a half things were going through my head at one time. I could never process this fast.

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So what did you think? Let me know. =)


	2. Explanations and Expectations

**Yay! 2nd Chapter! Hope you enjoy it! i'm kind of stuck right now on where I'm going to take this so let me know if you've got any ideas. Thanks!**

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I picked myself up off the coffee table and headed to the bathroom for a quick shower. I stripped and let the water run over me until it was icy cold. I climbed out and padded to my bedroom for a clean pair of clothes. After I'd gotten dressed I glanced at the clock, it was 2:20 and I was no closer to going to sleep than I was before. So I went to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of Jim Bean off the counter and walked out back. The night air was cold on my still slightly damp skin and the quick swig of whiskey I took did little to help. I set the bottle down and lit a cigarette before taking another swig. I sat in the cool California night for awhile replaying all the moments in my head that I had shared with Jenny in this house. They kept flashing before me, each one taking on more meaning than it had before. I shook my head.

"I should've known." I threw my head back and laughed despairingly up at the stars. "How could she have put up with me this long?" I asked myself.

Not really expecting an answer I jumped slightly when I heard Bette's voice call over the fence, "Because, Jenny is the only one strong enough and smart enough to put up with your bullshit and at the same time not let you get away with it. Plus she's the only one you ever let in. I mean yeah we're all you're friends, but we all know that Jenny is the only one who honestly knows you." I just stared at the spot where her voice was coming from.

"I don't get what you mean." Bette appeared around the corner and our eyes met. I couldn't hold her gaze out of shame and I stared straight down into the remaining contents of the bottle of whiskey.

"I mean," she sat down beside me and grabbed a cigarette from my pack, "Jenny is the only one who knows how to be around you and have the expectation of getting hurt without ever holding a grudge. She knows how to handle your kind of crazy like you know how to handle hers." Bette blew out an inhale of smoke and turned her head in my direction. Our eyes met and she smiled, "You may not realize it Shane, but you and Jenny have saved each other more times than you know from yourselves.

I had no reply to Bette's statement. I knew it was true. It all made sense now. Bette picked up the bottle between us and took a long swig before finishing her cigarette and putting it out on the patio. I followed in her wake and took a hard shot of the bitter amber liquid. It burned but not as much as the slap I could still feel on my face.

"Bette?"

"Shane."

"Do you think it's going to be as simple as me showing up at Alice's tomorrow and bowing at her feet?"

Bette just laughed and looked at me. I couldn't meet her penetrating stare. So instead I just leaned my head onto the older woman's shoulder and sighed heavily, "Shit." It was the only thing I could come up with to describe this whole thing.

"Yeah, Shane, shit." Bette leaned against me and kissed the top of my head. I relaxed from the contact. Bette had always been a sort of role model for me and also a motherly figure. Bette had everything that I had ever wanted granted none of it had come very easy for her, but nonetheless she had it and she would protect it.

A cry came from the inside of her house and she looked up and sighed. I knew that cry, it was Angelica, waking up from a bad dream or something. Bette stroked my hair one more time and stood up.

"It's just me and her tonight. Tina's still doing something for _Lez Girls_," she explained, then she turned and walked off but before she made it fully around she turned back to look at me, "Oh and Shane? Don't make the same mistake twice." I knew exactly what she was talking about. Canada. Carmen. The hell that I had created for myself. "Goodnight Shane."

"Goodnight." I said half-heartedly at her retreating figure. I thought some more about what Bette had said but I didn't want to dwell on the past tonight. I finished the rest of the bottle. Tonight was about the future and fixing everything I'd managed to break.

I stood to go inside and immediately felt the effects of the whiskey in my system. I swayed on my feet and took a step to regain my balance. The house was dark when I went into the kitchen and set the empty bottle on the counter. I leaned against it and stared at the silhouette of the table and chairs in the middle of the room. I smirked at the memory of when I had cut Jenny's hair that night. She had loved it. I had loved it.

I pushed myself off and walked down the dark hallway past my room and stood at her door. I pushed it open and stepped into what felt like forbidden territory, but of course what did I know about that sort of thing anyhow. I laid down across the crème colored bedspread and inhaled her sweet scent as I drifted off into a fitful sleep.

_Her raven locks fell silently to the floor, but to her they must have sounded like bombs. Each silky piece ran through my hands as I cut piece by piece away. I couldn't believe she was letting me do this. She was ready I knew it. I could see it in the confident way she had set down in the chair. Still, for her this was a huge step and for me to be a part of it. I couldn't describe it. My heart pounded faster as she examined herself in the mirror, playing with the short locks and running her hands through it._

"_I hate it." My face fell as I watched her stand and glare at me. "I fucking hate it." The calmer she said it the more it was hurting me. The mirror hit the floor with a loud crash._

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I jumped up in a cold sweat looking around the room. My head was pounding from the night's events and not to mention the hangover I had. I got up to go the bathroom for some Tylenol and from there I went into the kitchen. The sunlight in the kitchen was harsh as I sat down at the table with a beer.

"A plan. Damnit I need a plan." I nursed my beer and looked around the house.

"Never thought I'd hear those words come from your mouth, but getting drunk again at 11 in the morning isn't going to help one come any faster." I whipped my head around to see Bette standing in the doorway. "I hope you don't mind. Ti wanted me to come check on you again this morning."

"How the hell does everybody already know about all this shit!" I exclaimed. I glared at the bottle in my hand. "Fuck!" I leapt up and grabbed my hair tugging at the roots in frustration. "Bette, what am I going to do? She's never going to listen to my lame explanation I have for this. I did the one thing I promised never to do to her."

Bette shook her head at me and sat down at the table I had just been at. She pointed to the seat across from her and I obeyed. I put my head down in my arms waiting for her to say something, anything to help me out.

"Shane. Look at me." I lifted my head slightly from my arms, "Good. Now listen closely. Jenny will listen to you if what you say is from the heart."

"Everything-"

"Don't interrupt!" Bette snapped. I put my head back down, "No. Don't go spouting this bullshit about how you're her friend. Because right now she doesn't want to hear it. Because she doesn't want to be your friend Shane. Not anymore. She wants to be with you. She loves you. No matter what that silly psychotic woman loves you. So here's what you're going to do. You're going to go shower and get dressed, then you're going to The Planet with me, and from there you're going to Alice's to pay Jenny a short visit." She finished and looked across the table at the top of my head. "Shaaane." she said threateningly, "Did you hear me?"

"Yeah, yeah I heard you. But what if she's at The Planet?"

Bette looked at me like I'd grown another head, "Then you talk to her there, and if she doesn't listen then you make her listen."

Once I was dressed I headed down to The Planet for a cup of coffee. I peered through the window to see everyone sitting around a table minus Jenny of course. I let out a breath I didn't realize I had been holding and headed inside. At the counter I ordered my usual and turned around to the group who were waving hesitantly at me and as I turned back around to grab my cup I saw her emerging from the bathroom. She looked beautiful as her long raven locks bounced around her shoulders as she headed to the table. She hadn't even noticed me standing at the counter. I decided I would leave now so I didn't have to have this talk in front of everybody. I turned to leave and nearly knocked over Bette.

"Going somewhere Shane?" she looked at me accusingly and I bore my eyes into the black abyss of my coffee.

I laughed nervously as I stirred my coffee, "Um, yeah, I, um…"

"Mmm, that's what I thought," she grabbed my shoulder and spun me back around, "Now get your ass over there." I groaned like a petulant child as she marched me to the table. Everyone was staring at me now not really knowing what to say to me. I could tell by the way Jenny was sitting that she knew I was there but she refused to acknowledge my presence. She just kept staring at the center of the table.

"Hi." I glanced nervously at the table and everyone kind of half heartedly nodded at me. I stood there a little bit longer when she finally spoke.

"So where is she?"

"I don't know. She left after Alice got there last night." Jenny glared at Alice and pointed.

"Explain." It wasn't a question it was a demand.

"After you fell asleep last night I went over there to talk to Shane." Alice shrugged.

Jenny just looked at me. Her eyes were so cold and they held none of the usual warmth and kindness she had for me. I couldn't bare to see nothing there so I turned my head and directed my attention to the center of the table.

"No Shane. Look at me."

I did out of pure need to just see her face. I knew Jenny was beautiful. I had always known that, but now from where I was standing she was breathtaking. The midday sun coming in through the windows made her hair shine and her toned skin seemed to radiate warmth from where she sat. I could feel it on every inch of my skin as I stared into her ocean blue eyes. Everyone shifted uncomfortably in their seats as they watched the wordless exchange that was happening across the table.

"Fuck it!" I took two strides around the table and I was beside her chair kneeling before her like I should've been for months now. I didn't care who would see me in this vulnerable position as I was about to spill my heart. "Jenny listen to me. Just listen please." My voice cracked and she heard it. She looked down at me and her eyes softened slightly and it gave me the encouragement I needed. "I fucked up. I fucked up harder than I usually do. I performed the ultimate fuck up and it hurt you. Which is the one thing I promised I would never do. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can never say it enough, but the more I say it the more it'll get lost in translation." I put my hand on her knee and she stiffened but I didn't remove it. Instead I continued this jumbled inarticulate confession apology rant I'd started. "So instead of continuously apologizing and begging for forgiveness I'll tell you this. Jenny I love you. You're the best friend I have. You know me better than anybody in this world. I don't want to, no, I can't lose you. I need you. I need to know that when I wake up in the morning you're going to be there. I need to know that when we go out together people are going to stare and be pissed because I have you by my side. Because you're mine and because I'm yours. Damnit this isn't making any sense." I hung my head. I was sounding like an idiot as I just kept ranting on, but I didn't know how to make this sound any better. Jenny squeezed my hand and smiled down at me. I looked up at her and started again, "Jenny I'll do anything for you to take me back. I'll eat dirt. I'll crawl on glass. Just please give me a shot to make this up to you. I need just one chance to prove myself to you, please," my voice cracked again, "Please?" I was still looking up at her pleading for her to say something do anything I didn't care. She could've kicked me in the face or stabbed me in the chest and I wouldn't have cared. I just needed her to acknowledge the confession I had just spilled all across The Planet's pristine floor.

"One." It was all she said, but to me it was the only word in the English language I cared about. I stood and brought her with me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I brought our lips together in a passionate kiss. The Planet soon erupted into clapping and cheering as we pulled away from each other and gazed sheepishly around the crowded café. I blushed and buried my head into Jenny's shoulder and she ruffled my shaggy hair. I looked at her and she kissed me on the cheek.

We sat down at the table with the rest of the group as they just stared and smiled at us. Nobody was saying anything and I kept shifting uncomfortably in my seat as they all just kept staring at us. "Oh jeez will somebody please say something!" Jenny blurted finally. I squeezed her hand in thanks still waiting for somebody.

"Finally!" Of course Alice was the first one to say anything. "You know we've all been kind of expecting this from you two for years now." she motioned enthusiastically between me and Jenny. I just stared at her blankly and smiled. Everyone else just kind of nodded their heads in agreement with Alice.

"Whatever guys." I got up to go outside and smoke. I had to step out for a second to get my head back on right. Yeah okay me and Jenny were tentatively together right now but there was still a lot of stuff for me and her had to work out. I exhaled a harsh stream of smoke and noticed her standing there. She was still wearing the clothes she had left in last night and she looked like she hadn't slept at all. She reeked of tequila and she swayed slightly as she stood there looking at me intently.

"Can I bum one of those?" her voice was scratchy from exhaustion as she held out her hand to accept the cigarette I handed her. She leaned down to light it and looked back at me. "Have you talked to her yet?"

"What?" I asked realizing she had been speaking to me.

"Have you talked to her yet?"

"Yeah just a few minutes ago actually," I smiled and really looked at her, "I really think this is going to work." I threw down the butt of my cigarette and went to walk back inside.

"Wait," she reached out to grab my arm, I stiffened and looked inside hoping no one had seen me out here talking to her when I saw no one had I turned back to her waiting for her to say something else, "if it doesn't work out between you and Jenny…" she trailed off.

"No Nikki. This is going to work." I said it with a finality in my voice I didn't know I possessed and walked back inside.

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**Review! You know you so want to!**


	3. My Own Personal Paradise

**Okay I am so sorry this took me so long to put out and that it is so extremely short. The next chapter will be longer I promise, and it'll come even faster if you guys review too :) There is a tiny bit of a lemon in here but not much because I really suck at writing them.**

**Thanks to all the people that have reviewed thsi story so far too.**

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After too many hours at The Planet me and Jenny left and headed back home. Home. I loved that word. The way it sounded in my head or the way it rolled off my tongue when I spoke of it to others. It was the first real home I had ever had. The first place I felt like I was really welcome to be, and the fact that she was there made it all the better.

As we pulled into the driveway we sat for awhile just simply staring at the front door. I knew what she was thinking about; last night with me and Nikki, on her couch, and in our house. I grabbed her hand and squeezed. I knew that this wound would sting for awhile and I intended to do everything to make it heal faster. She turned to me and gave me a weak smile. She was trying. She really was.

"We can't sit out here forever."

"I know, but…" she trailed off and I followed right along with her.

"How about first thing tomorrow I move it out and we can get us another one?"

She just nodded in response and I leaned in for a kiss. She immediately deepened the kiss and I grinned into it. She responded by biting my bottom lip and I reached out to place my hands on each side of her face. She moaned and I pulled back to kiss along her jaw line to her ear where I began to nibble and bite at the lobe.

"Shane," she gasped. Her hot breath hit the back of my neck and it sent a shiver down my spine. I could listen to her say my name like that every day. I unbuckled her seat belt and mine and then pulled away silently. Her eyes were clouded over with passion as she stared me down in the confines of my Jeep. With a sudden jerk she was up and out of the Jeep and running towards her studio. I grabbed the keys out of the ignition and went after her. I opened the dimly lit door to find her sprawled across the futon waiting for me. The setting sun cast shadows across her face but I could see the way her eyes sparkled and danced as she watched me enter and set down my keys on the desk.

"Jenny, god you're so beautiful." she stood and sauntered to me slowly pulling her shirt over her head as she did, "I'm so sorry about what I did."

She was in front of me. Staring up into my eyes, "Shane stop. I know you are, but its okay I forgive you, and I love you," she put her hands on my shoulders and leaned up to whisper in my ear, "Now fuck me." It wasn't a request or a favor she was asking for. It was a demand. A simple demand I couldn't deny her. Because I knew I would never be able to deny her anything from here on out.

I felt her breath hitch in my ear when I placed my hands on the bare skin of her back. I unhooked her bra and she stepped back to let the garment fall to the floor at our feet. It hit the ground the same time she lunged for my lips and backed me into the doorframe. She tasted like heaven and every part of her that was pressed against me felt like it was on fire. I came to a very harsh realization that there were still too many articles of clothing between us and I immediately reached for the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head. I switched us around and her back hit the doorframe where I had just been.

As I deepened the kiss I shut the door to the studio and reached down to unbutton her jeans. I moved my mouth down her neck and in between her breasts as I left a trail of kisses behind so I could find my way back to her sensuous lips. I kissed each sharp hip bone as I finished unzipping her jeans and sliding them down her legs. She stepped out of them and thrust her hands into my messy hair as I kissed her thighs and then back up. I crashed my lips onto hers and ran my hands down her bare back and squeezed her ass. She ground herself into the thigh I had strategically placed between her legs near her center and she groaned in pleasure. I couldn't take it anymore so I picked her up and wrapped her legs around me without breaking our lips apart. I managed to maneuver us to the futon and threw her down. She whimpered at the loss of contact and I immediately put it to an end as I climbed atop her and pinned her arms above her head.

"God Damnit Shane. Quit teasing me." she whispered.

I smirked at her and gave into her pleading by slipping down her body and removing the soaking panties she was wearing. Her breathing was heavy with anticipation as I slinked my way back up her body and kissed her lightly on the lips before slipping two fingers into her. She gasped and thrust into my fingers urging me to continue my ministrations. So I did. Over and over again until eventually she came. I kissed her lightly on the lips and lay down beside her. She wrapped her body around me and we just lay there holding each other.

"I want to stay like this forever. It's like my own personal paradise." Jenny spoke into the crook of my neck and managed to send another round of chills down my spine from her hot breath.

"I always told you my bed was heaven." She looked up at me and laughed and then a yawn escaped her. I pulled the blankets up around us and kissed the top of her head, "Goodnight baby. Sweet dreams." She snuggled further into me and dozed off. I followed soon after.


End file.
